all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
She said she didn't want to have sex because she was so torn up about "this whole NBC thing."
there was a sad and surprising lack of "did strippers and blow" in that sentence
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
Do you think drinking vodka, rum and sourpuss out of a water bottle, in a class that isn't even mine rude?
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
He was dressed up as Jesus and had vodka in one hand while he was blessing everyone and splashing them with holy water in the bathroom.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
I just wanna have sex and go to Denny's after is that too much to ask for.
Once upon a time I threw up in my own hands last night.
I know you told me I shouldn't go see him...that's why I'm texting you letting you know I made it home safe from his house this morning
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
Randomize
