Why were you high on a thursday?
today's a wednesday
I asked first.
Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
Randomize
