Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Just found a quarter that has been stuck to my boob since at least last night.
You know how I got mad at him for making out with his formal date? Apparently I fucked mine. I'm guessing any exclusivity is out of the question.
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just peed on a rich man's lawn fuck yeah America
I'm just down here gazing up into your ivory tower of nudes
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
You are, as of last night, the self declared king of pooping. Long may you reign.
Randomize
