there's a lady drinking out of a red cup in class. HAPPY FRIDAY
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Pretty sure I blacked out the last 48 hours, the last thing I remember is the 4 pm bar crawl on Thurs
Can you believe they're going to let me be a doctor?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
He yelled at me to keep it in my pants and I replied with I will fuck your roommate as much as I please. Oops
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
I say camping because "let's go get hammered in the woods" sounds kinda fucking weird to be honest.
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
Randomize
