Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
Why the FUCK can i grow hair on my big toes but not on my chest?
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
If I ever die and svu has to come to my murder scene make sure they know I don't wear underwear always so it might not be as bad as they think
I asked if he wants to help me spring forward at 2am on Sunday. He seems down.
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I'd kiss your neck and collarbone and then run my tongue up your neck to just behind your ear
And then lightly kick the curve inside your ear
Randomize
