Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
..and then spiked the maple syrup at iHop
Woke up to a bouquet of flowers in my toilet bowl. Drunk hubby loves me.
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
You passed out in my bathroom last night. I put a towel over your face so I could shit without it being gay
Dude I woke up in her bed wearing a top hat and bunny slippers and noticed one of us had pissed in bed. The last thing I wanted to ask for was a ride home
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Don't think anyone else in the building has a lunchbox full of yay
Hey there's a sandwich in there too!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
Randomize
