"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
so we were doing it and I was like umm hi im losing my virginity can you take off your beanie
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Please remind me tomorrow that I ate a loaf of jimmy johns bread on the toilet 5 mins ago
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Ladies night is a gift from god. If it weren't for that, I'd probably be selling my eggs for booze money.
Omfg 7 hour sex session who am I?
PS: I think I'm in love
Ability to walk tomorrow tbd
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