so explain again why im purple
no
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
all i asked was if it was all the way in, and now im laying here alone. sensitive guys fucking suck
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
You were such a shitshow...I was just standing in the kitchen eating my toaster strudel and you came in, whispered "you didn't see anything" and led him to the couch
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
He woke up, yelled "RALLY!" and then puked in my glove compartment
I just rolled a blunt at my desk. Happy early Friday!
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
