the nicest thing hes ever said to me is give me head.......please
we have officially mastered the walk of shame
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Soo time for a life change, my 6 yr old sister made my gf a puke bucket for her birthday
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
She's a freaking stalker dude, it's like having some kind of cartoon animal just following around everywhere
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
You went into my bathroom put on my bathrobe.. Said excuse me then went in my front yard and started yelling who ate my whopper..
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