She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
just threw up in the bushes outside my lecture hall. sometimes i hate the freedom college gives you.
new excercise plan: walk a mile get a bj then walk a mile home
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
That's why I don't chug things. Because when I was a freshman in college tequila came out my nose.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
I'm so glad you support me having casual sex with your uncle
You know how fear has a smell? Well turns out shame has a smell too. It's Pina colada flavored anal grease.
Randomize
