You want to go to a white party at LAX
Clubs are lame especially themed ones. Im not in a fucking episode of laguna beach
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
Have you ever realized how cool bread is? Like so many things taste good on it. Like its crazy to think that peanut butter and turkey can both taste good on the same thing.
there's a drunk hobo under the bridge wearing a jester hat and screaming at women
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
