he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I have stripper ass cheeks all over my glasses
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
I'm so tired of waking up with my bed full of deli meats.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Kids parked next to me are getting it on. I'm eating chicken nuggets listening to Kanye alone. Happy Valentine's Day.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
We found out if you get Ben high but stay sober yourself he is an AWESOME cook. You need to get your ass down here, this goes against everything I know to be real.
Why thank you for your unwanted opinion, person I've never met before.
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
why yes, bad decisions will be made starting at 3PM Thurs through 8PM on Sun. You have been warned. Plan accordingly.
Randomize
