I just tried to pick my 105-lb puppy up and accidentally fingered its asshole
There are some things we keep to ourselves Brian
First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
I think i can make this amish girl legitimately hot.
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
Why have they been driving around the block for the past 30 min?
He told her it was international road head day.
Dude made his own urinal by punching a hole in the wall and pissing in it rather than waiting in line. That is the stuff of legends.
and by clear my head i mean get drunk and cry myself into oblivion.
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
My body hates me. Pretty sure I drank 3 pitches full of coffee last night and took two adderal. I slept and ran a marathon at the same time. You should see my bed.
I think I'd rather see her get hit by a car in one of those Russian dash cam videos on YouTube.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
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