Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
It feels like my uterus is trying to crawl out of my ass wearing cleats. And yourself?
Wake up. Pour coffee. Open blinds. Guy is skipping class and jacking off furiously to Asian porn. Close blinds. Finish coffee. So this must be what med school is like.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
I miss the days where our biggest worries were who was gonna win battle shits.
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
Randomize
