So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I tried booty calling last night but apparently he was too tired and wants to meet up tonight. I told him planning defeats the purpose.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
You just handed me your ATM card and wrote your PIN number on a dollar bill and said "for bail money."
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
Guess what I'm doing tonight? Tacos and strip chess.
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
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