why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
he just kept going up to random asian girls and yelling at them for breaking up the beatles
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
ive come to the point where weve hung out more times sober than drunk. i think im growing up. fuck.
Do you have any booze?
Well I have 60 feet of bubble wrap and a bottle of wine...but I'm saving that for a special girl...
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just told my shrink " this was a year for whoring around"
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
i feel as though me waking up and asking her if i went to the hospital was a sign that i was not okay
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Only good thing about being an essential worker is that I have a letter allowing me to cross the bridge into jersey to get booze
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