Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
Met some locals. They are taking me to a place where there is topless bullriding. I love this country.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
I found my weird threshold when Truth or Dare became everyone get naked and snort Adderall off the kitchen counter.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
She gave me a can of steel reserve to pour on myself in the shower
I FUCKED WHEELCHAIR DUDE
HE'S INTO WEIRD SHIT
GOOD KIND OF WEIRD SHIT
you were on all fours in the front yard puking, but managed to hand the pizza delivery guy a beer and to have a nice day.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
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