there are singles shoved down my panties. this is the type of summer job i always wanted.
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
The album was titled "Best Night Ever" until she found out she was preggers and switched it to "God Punishes Sluts"
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
At least it earned you a couple drinks. And something tells me you've touched grosser things with less incentive.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
I just want a simple guy who likes cats, tattoos, and doing coke off my tits.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Randomize
