zippers are such a cool invention
Maybe you should have studied instead of worrying about who is going to have sex with you
My fave moment of today was you sitting in a hot pink innertube puking into the ocean in front of a lot of children. i would have held your hair back but the ocean did it for you.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
do you remember in the middle of fleeing from the cops you stopped in the middle of the road to make out with quail man?
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
you just missed a great speech in which i almost coined the term "ass-ian" as in "my vaginal and ass-ian regions are no longer safe"
God please dont post that to facebook.
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
