toast her oven
toast her strudel
inspect her gadget
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Is it weird I want to fuck the cartoon chick from e-surance??
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
why is it ever time u get laid i end up having to clean something twice? you have no idea how hard it is to wash smugged ass cheeks off the counter
there not mine if that helps
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
No one understands the complete and utter debilitating 3 day bday bender.
MY LIFE IS HARD OK. I HAVE TO WAKE UP AT LIKE 10 OR 11 AFTER SMOKIG POT AND PLAYING FALLOUT UNTIL 3
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
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