Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
when i'm not drinking i'm making facebook events about drinking
There was a lot going on. It was easy to miss a 70 foot tall puppet.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
NOT EVEN KIDDING RIGHT NOW. THE GUY IN THE SPIDERMAN COSTUME JUST FELL OFF THE ROOF INTO A BABY POOL. GET HERE NOW!!
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
If you've never been partying there before, take Shae with you. Drunk Shae is like a GPS. She found us the only bottle shop still open at four, a pot dealer, and told us all which subway to take to get home. She'd never been to Madrid before. It was awesome.
Should I be scared that after we hooked up she took antibiotics with Sailor Jerry's?!
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
Ignore him I am the one that wears the pants in the relationship while "the big man" cries in bed
The heart wants what the heart wants, and once again it’s a guy with brown hair, wears a chain, and has a nicotine addiction.
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