they're scary. like turkeys that ate nuclear fucking steroids.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
just woke up to an abnormally swollen ankle (broken, perhaps?) and a shirtless man with the most beautiful abs I've ever seen sleeping on my floor.
is your ankle ok??
WHY IS HE ON THE FLOOR. SINCE WHEN DOES BLACKOUT ME ALSO COCKBLOCK ME
I could be doing way worse things besides texting him 'come over and bang my headache away'. i could be on meth
Randomize
