plz talk dirty to me
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
Grandma just handed out bail money... it's officially christmas
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
we got 12 live crabs and then we got really stoned and know we're playing with the crabs. thats nom watermellon nom. now i'm plaing with a crap whos such a gentleman
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
I just ordered $70 worth of pizza and I'm not even ashamed. Happy Valentine's Day to me.
Well now you know not to take drugs from your friends. Take it from stangers. They're more reliable.
Can you see if my straightener is in your refrigerator?
Yes. Its here..
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
He thought it would be sexy if he found my clothes and dressed me, and it was..until he found a thong under his bed and assumed it was mine. It wasn't
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