we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
Why does my right nut always hang lower than my left nut?
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
just remembered that i started a tab for just myself at 50 cent beer night last night... i dont understand my life
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
You get home ok?
Uh, you stopped by my house at 4 am and woke me up, so yeah.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
I just want him to get into an accident where he's horribly disfigured but otherwise fine so he's not so freaking handsome
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Randomize
