I've rolled joints bigger than that penis.
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
Those drunk pictures you took of me? My mom is showing those to my grandparents.
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
In the middle of pounding my asshole he stopped and said, "do you want to get breakfast after this?"
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I had sex with two guys in one day. One on my grandma's couch, one on a golf course. This is the greatest post-surgery accomplishment I could ask for.
Randomize
