You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
she's on the floor slapping my dogs face with slices of pizza
I'm sorry, when did "I like your shit" become an acceptable pickup line?
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
Are you going to regret this?
No I do t think so
Ok then he can enter the holy dorm temple.
You tried to fight someone about spaghetti o’s?
That hungover.
Randomize
