Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Brandy, I need a picture of your boobs. Not time to explain.
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Also on a more serious note, what says pull my hair more: straight or soft curls?
He just told me the blow job I gave him was like a journey
You got me so high that I almost couldn't leave my house for a bar because there was nothing to lean against on the way there
You get home okay?
I'm pantless and in bed
That doesn't mean you're at home.
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
He broke both of his legs jumping out of a window to escape a coyote.
Randomize
