Todays outfit involves shorts with embroidered fish. This kids gonna die.
i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
I wish I could sell my textbooks directly to my drug dealer and cut out the middle man
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
Stacy was in the bathroom puking, so he peed out the window. We were eight stories up.
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