gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
vodka and carrot juice, if im gonna drink i at least got my 8 servings of vegetable
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
It was beyond pathetic. You yelled her name at every blonde chick we saw hoping it would be her. Then you puked your corn dog
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Your grandma found me sleeping in my car this morning, and she wanted me to tell you she was going to church... Also, last night was amazing.
It was some weird herd predator-evasion instinct. All 15 of us took off running in different directions, and the two cops just stood there, perplexed. They had no idea who to chase.
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