I need a sticker that says "It's no use hitting on me - I'm the plus one" Seriously, how do they think I got in in the 1st place?
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
but really, i care about skinny girls as much as michael vick cares about rotweilers
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Next guy we share better have a little more dignity than that
There is a guy, stoned out of his mind, only wearing slippers and a bathrobe in the library.
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
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