youre lurking in front of me
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
The fish's death was accidental. We all said a few words at his funeral. Roomie wanted to play only the good die young as he swirled down the toilet bowl
party gras won. party gras always wins.
That's the last time you call me to prove to some girl at a bar that you're English. It's bad enough that you actually get to fuck them because of it without having to wake me up to seal the deal.
I stuck a note to his door with my gum explaining why i couldn't spend the night. as i was walking away, he opened the door...i fell down and played dead. deffinitly didn't see me.
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
Kid got so high from the brownies he forgot his own name. Welcome to college.
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Ladies don't puke and tell
I just chased my birth control with Smirnoff. Shit's about to go down.
false alarm, still single
Randomize
