the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Seriously. Destroy her vagina. Do it like an angry baboon mating with a gentle manatee.
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
So if a 2 is a 10 on the road... do we consider college to be "on the road?" help. its urgent.
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
It's like fucking tetris in this bed
I woke up to some strange woman rubbing peanut butter on my thighs
I'm taking a shower and i'm gonna bring my pocketknife with me
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
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