My ass is singing 4 different tunes right about now... Taco Bell was a bad idea!
It only happened twice. Once we used extra virgin olive oil and once I used saliva and brute force.
so i told him i still liked him. he laughed
well, your crazy. what did you expect?
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
I just told my sister I love her. I'm in no condition to drive.
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
What do you mean you don't want me to steal the manikin do you have any idea how expensive inflatable dolls are I can't get that for your birthday
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
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