apparently my drunken alterego is a lazyeyed bisexual.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I will never underestimate my ability to drunken ramble. At one point last night i think i was talking about hieroglyphics
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
For gods sake, I only took one. With two nyquils. What a happy world its been today. Fulfill your obligations and then its marvelouso.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
Randomize
