So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I need to find more Xanax, my Grandpa doesent leave for another week and he's made it a mission to get me to come out of the closet as a xmas gift to my parents.
I cannot tell if the couch is cold or I spilled beer. THAT kind of night.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Why did you make me get in the car with you and then not give me a ride? I woke up in a bar with a blanket on me.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Randomize
