I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
I woke up with my left arm looking like it got mauled by a lion. Oo and she said someone broke her car window.
Just realized these events may be related.
the realtor just asked me if i've ever made meth on this property.... i need to do something about my hair
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
It's now 8:05 on a Wednesday night and I'm already going home with my bra in my purse.
I just read through our messages from yesterday and realized we both referred to me tearing my penis as a good thing. What the fuck.
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
I just found a half a joint in my bed. . .don't know if this qualifies as a proud moment or a cry for help
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
Randomize
