Crap im kindd 0f drunkk we just hooked up in a mcdonalds parking lot but i dont know why how we are here
dude i need help, im throwing up blood.
no youre not, you just drank a pitcher of red koolaid trying to sober up.
oh, so thats why my junks red.
wow. cant help you there...
I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
I miss the smell of you or some shit.
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
And I just found out I called my debit card a fast food passport so I dont deserve to live
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
you could be the only one getting laid right now....yet your sitting in here making goat noises
i woke up between my boyfriend and his sister and i don't know if we fucked or cried together
With each thrust he'd whisper "like a ninja." Should I be flattered or appalled?
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