Seeya bye Latvian government! Whammy!
Congratulations on your moose knuckle.
Thank you. Really, it was an honor just being nominated.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
using my metrocard to split lines. it says optimism on the back. i am optimistic that you will appear at my door and help me finish all these drugs.
How in the hell did I take a shot of whiskey to the eyeball last night?
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
So I get to my parents and walk in the door so my mom knows I'm safe and alive and my grandpa looks at me and says "were you being someone's bitch". And I about died of laughter
Wow, he seems so solid
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
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