So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
We are walking down to the lake and then i dont know. Where did you sleep?
Places.
Plural? Please tell.
we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
She actually said during sex "the only thing that would make this more perfect is if we were listening to Lenny Kravitz"
So, obviously, you had to give a fake number this morning.
Yes. Also, we may never be able to go back to that bar again.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
I fucking, woke up on a couch with a towel as a blanket to someones lion king ringtone.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
When I took off my jeans he became more excited about my Elmo underwear than sex but to be fair, who can blame him. They're awesome undies.
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Getting dome in the backseat of a friends car with Ariana Grande playing in the background was probably the most romantic part of my night
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
