Bel-fucking-mar, this place has more popped collars than a Hollister catalog
My favorite part of our friendship is your tits.
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
Call me as soon as you're able to dial a phone. I just took a shit behind a building in broad daylight and need to get the fuck outta here soon.
I either just got free sex or a nice jail sentence. Text me in 10 to verify.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
pretend your vagina is a choco taco and the guy is someone who really loves choco tacos. let him enjoy the choco taco.
Getting drunk and throwing things at people isnt the same with you not here. Remember when you dislocated my elbow and then popped it back in in one motion?
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
FYI - Don’t go in the downstairs bathroom. Ryan is passed out naked on the floor with a raging hard on.
I'm cuddly bitch. Deal with it.
Randomize
