Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
I can't finger myself when I'm all distracted about whether or not your family is going to like me
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
IT WAS A FUCKING ELEPHANT I SWESR!!!!!
Nathan, I haven't spoken to you in 12 years and it's 6am. Kindly fuck off.
Randomize
