I'm the only one here who isn't hooking up, coming out of the closet, or crying because of one of those 2 things.
Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
"Whiskey Cheerios" was a terribly great idea.
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
You gave me a bottle of tequila and introduced me to a ginger named cowboy. I actually love you.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
