its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
But guess what. I'm gonna roll over and go to sleep cuz there's no cuddling in phone sex.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
Make sure to show her the sewer we were arrested in on your tour.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
Have you ever looked at someone and thought…oh honey, you're too pretty for an ankle monitor
I woke up in the bathroom clutching a stuffed shark. My night was fantastic, thanks for asking.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
