so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
We can make salsa ya know, maybe even some hot sauce. That doesn't mean we're married.
i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
Her face was so far in my boobs, I didn't think she'd make it out. She took it like a man. She's a real trooper.
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
And the 'kicked out of Xmas party' trophy goes to me. 3rd nomination, first win.
Randomize
