i want you now
you need to stop dating girls with the same name as your mother...or stop drinking so much...I don't want to see this
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
You don't need id to drink rum in an alley.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He graduated with honors. I've seen him kneeboard on dry ground and run a razor scooter into a wall...anyone can graduate with honors
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
My mom just walked in and saw a picture of his penis. She then asked me "Do you even have a cervix left?!" I don't know what to feel anymore HA
Yeah well that's a good thing right? Like mothers approval? Kinda like a Fathers blessing but. . . better?
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
Never let me go online shopping while drunk. I now own 2 baby cribs. I have no children
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Randomize
