You guys sftrill at mcdondalds?!!!!
Yes.
fuckin bring me a cheseburgeria
census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
I wish I could have two rating systems on iTunes. "This one is a 5 star. This one is only a 5 star when I'm baked."
take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
You threw a shot glass at the bartender and still managed to convince him to let us drink more. You are my hero.
Just peed out a window, not entirely sure it's open. Can't tell. I'll find out in the morning.
Sometimes a girl needs 4 shots of whiskey in her diet coke at 5 in the afternoon and i feel no shame in admitting that girl is me
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
It just makes sense. It's like I end a relationship, and wash myself of sin... with tequila.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
