you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Interestingly im still mad at you for the time we got high and you tried to hump me.
Lol thats a classic
My 10 year old brother handed me a pack of condoms and said "here, i don't wanna be an uncle yet."
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
Iron Man just asked me back to his place... Not sure I can handle this. Wish me luck.
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
How hard do you think it would be to make a drinking game out of a Slip-N-Slide? Asking for a friend.
After all this I still can't spell gonorrhoea without autocorrect
look im sitting on my bathroom floor in my underwear snorting cocaine can we talk about this later
Randomize
