I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Not sure if this is better or worse than the discovery that bourbon and hot chocolate is a viable combo
The paramedics came back to shotgun beers with us.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
then this guy just runs in screaming, "cant you see my daughter pissed herself???!!!" and that was the start of my 2016.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
Randomize