She made me repeat after her: "I take responsibility for what I put in my own mouth."
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
Just walk-of-shame'd past fifteen little girls at summer camp. Take a good look girls, I am you in twelve years.
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Give me a second. I'm doing my best but I'm drunk so for some reason fitting both my boobs in the pic is just incredibly difficult. They aren't THAT big. I'm just being retarded.
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
I accidentally called my professor daddy...and I think he liked it. Help, I'm scared.
"Don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor, don't bang the neighbor..." he chanted helplessly
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
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