You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
I just Organized my jello shots by their colors in my mini fridge for the rest of the week. I'm going places in life.
Apparently as I was doing the walk of shame home my dad's date was on her way to hers. hoes come in all ages these days
Oh come on. There's no way I was the only female choir student taking shots in the back room.
Chasing shots with sriracha-covered mini toast was, in retrospect, not the best idea.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Peanut butter and whiskey is not a dinner
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
No, I'm not a heathen. You two are the heathens, I'm the whore.
I showered three hours ago and yet feel the need for another one already. This is my day.
Randomize
