Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
got extra credit for showing up to class before a holiday. it hit me 5 minutes later that she meant easter....
Well, I wanted to be you for Halloween but I couldn't fit seven dicks in my mouth.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
My alarm clock on my phone was changed to Fat Bottom Girls over the weekend, and I just now noticed. I'm actually okay w that after Mardi Gras. Well done, random. Well done.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Who the fresh hell put 2 pillows a raincoat and a guitar on top of me to keep me warm last night
Randomize
