Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
he told me he had a problem with me going both ways. like what the fuck. what guy says that to a girl? goodbye planned threesomes...
i gave you head in a backbend. if that doesnt say happy birthday i dont know what does.
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
Maybe I'll just get really drunk on valentines day and tell him I think his penis is small
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
I think I should just be a madame. Fuck it.
I'm just gonna post fliers on telephone poles like, "who wantsta be a hooooooe?!"
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
Randomize
