he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
nothing can ever be as bad as the night i blacked out, updated my fb status to i need a pity fuck and then passed out for 13 hours.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
We had sex and then I offered him a cookie...while he was still inside of me. Basically he's in love
I never thought in a million years that I would have a threesome with my boss and his wife and yet here we are.
I'm glad we can *facepalm* it together over the married couple we fucked separately.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
I can't be held responsible for another man's penis.
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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