so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
Maybe if i eat something filling like whole wheat pasta it will make me less hungry for things like dick
i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just don't understand how my upright asian catholic roommate is getting more than me.
halloween makes it hard to decipher real cops... from sexy men dressed up as them.
By the grace of god and the ingenuity of Alexander Graham Bell, this text message is made possibe: YOU ARE A WHORE
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Apparently one comment in my womens studies class cockblocks yourself for an entire semester.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
If it involves mee putting on a bra and discontinuing my 11 am drinking my answer is a polite fuck YOU
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I can't really text bc it's too expensive but I thought youd like to know I just shit myself in a gift shop.
Randomize