I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
There is a new fb quiz: "are you at ypical woman, future ex or from crazy town" - should i take it?
Aren't all three of those the same though?
What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
First of all...stop making excuses. Second of all...Fuck the surgeon generals warning
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
WHERE ARE MY FUCKING EYEBROWS?!
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
This has been the most pleasant arrest experience I've ever had.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
Why do I have "apologize to Dave Coulier" written on my hand?
I'm watching Part of Your World now and I'm crying and I feel like I'm floating right along with her. This. This right here is some drunken Disney Magic
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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