What's the politest way to tell someone that you're only interested in them when they're naked, and even then it's just like a passing "meh?"
She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
Apparently I joined a band last night. Definitely my favorite blackout.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Im about to get a baby alligator stoned, what are you doing with your life?
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Do u remember giving me permission to fuck ur dad and then getting super pissed at me when i said ew?
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
No, I found out he was gay when I walked in on him blowing the guy from the dorm room next to ours.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
