Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
pick me up and take me to a bathroom i have to shit
no
the bathroom is right infront of the beerpong table
im sorry you werent invited but you live 2 blocks away PLEASE
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I realized we pick a president more often than I get a blowjob
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
The judge mental looks i am getting while looking at porn on my phone sitting in the urgent care waiting room is gonna get way worse when they find out im here to see if im pregnant
one renamed every person in my phone 'I lpvw tewqils', so it would really help me out if you could text me your name. Happy sunday!
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
Yes. That was the exact moment of my conscience clicking into instant high alert.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
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