so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
No stitches, just platelets and will power
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
As a matter of fact you told me i fulfilled your "woodshop teacher fantasy"
Just gave a gay guy pointers on how to make anal not hurt. Reevaluation of life choices: in progress.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
now to finish some work and then i think i'll work out. or garden. or at the very least I'll continue eating frozen grapes and take more drugs
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
Randomize
