I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
He measures volume by how much weed he can put in it and surface area by how many people can have sex in it.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
someone needs to get her out of the garbage can shes never gonna forgive us for this
My picture of a beer can in a McDonalds cup full of ice got more likes than my relationship with her. Is beer THAT much better than monogamy?
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
You can't hold me to anything I said last night; I was drunk on orgasms.
Randomize
