i just realized that no matter how many potstickers i eat, i will never be asian
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
im having a threesome with these popsicles
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
We lived together for a year and neither of us knew we were both gay.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
This bowl is so big, I just said out loud, "I'm going to die here" as I blew smoke out the cat door. Merry fucking Christmas.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
I know her cup size but not her name....
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
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