Going to eat lunch. Bunch of people in church clothes, and we are hungover, wearing pajamas, and in real danger of puking on the floor. We're about to destroy the ambience of this joint.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
Made a visit to my old puking stall. I missed it.
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
Today's dinner table topic: the probablity of my dad turning gay if he ever left my mom.
The kid I'm babysitting just asked if I had a boyfriend. WHY IS A FOUR YEAR OLD MAKING ME FEEL BAD ABOUT MY LIFE
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Hey dude. I've got a mini fridge in my closet now so we don't have to worry about getting drunk and falling down the stairs on our way to get more beer.
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
SOS... STANDING IN THE BAR NEXT TO MY BF AND THE GUY WHO I HOOKED UP WITH ON CHRISTMAS DAY..
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
If I had an Australian accent I'd be unstoppable. Teach me how you talk
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
