he thought i was a dude.
we're out of white wine, toilet paper and windex... too hard to explain via text
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
You are not about to raise that baby deer, you can BARELY raise yourself... Return it to it's mom now.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
i passed out twice in the shower, twice on the bathroom floor, once holding the toilet bowl and 8 times moving from the bathroom to my bed. Tequila sucks.
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
I mean I made my therapist laugh so hard she cried....so yes, my life is literally a joke to everyone
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
Randomize
