im sure we could have fun without alcohol but i just dont wanna chance it...
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
The amount of guys who just came into the room to give me a high five after hooking up with him was about 5 too many.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
I woke up this morning to find a stuffed animal submerged in the toilet. I'm not entirely sure if it was the cat or Kara.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
I'm questioning my decision to swallow this morning while my stomach was in hangover mode
Sorry I banged your sister. But in my defense you ain't fucked me in a month. In fact I should get a medal for keeping it in your family.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
