Those kids are glorified dude-bros. It's banal.
Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
I woke up in a house cuddled up with a beagle on a futon. have no idea who anyone is but they all call me stretch. yeaaahhh boiiiiii
Dude they have ski ball. Anywhere that has skiball is bound to be bangin.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Well, I sent nudes with an Elmo t shirt on the floor... so there's that.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
