I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
he wanted to give me a nickname... my choices were superjugs,godzilla boobs or mouth of fury
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
so I have this game called 14 beers left. and we both have to drink 7 before we leave
Just got a call at work, I have to consent to a random drug and alcohol test by end of business day, if you arranged this it's the best/worst April fools prank ever.
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
We got back from Mcdonalds and literally 5 minutes of being in your room, you wanted to go back because "We haven't been yet."
things were going awesome until jimmy put out a cigarette in the everclear.
I think I'd be more bothered by his cross dressing if I wasn't secretly into women..,
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
Randomize
